Sunday, February 05, 2006
Multiple Dimensions of Time
Readers have been clamoring for Andromeda's comments on the "new" theory by Alex Mayer that time is "a local geometric distinction" in the manifold of spacetime. Ordinarily, Andromeda maliciously ignores the urgent pleas of the bleating masses like yourself, but, this one time, it will make an exception.
First, the theory is exactly correct. Time is a strictly local measurable quantity. All of the implications that follow are exactly as he says with one exception. The dinosaurs were NOT wiped out in a periodic cooling when Earth turned into a snowball. No, they were undone by the Siren call of Health Savings Accounts, which led to the rapid collapse of the dinosaur health insurance and healthcare industries. Also the dinosaur prescription drug plan proved both incomprehensible and capable of bankrupting both the government and the patients trying to use the benefit, leaving only the dinosaur pharmaceutical industry which roamed the Earth looking for dinosaurs to overcharge, until finally it transformed back into the crude sludge from which it came.
But the point is there was no "Big Bang" and the distant galaxies we see are much older than you had previously believed. This is due to the mis-calculation of ages, owing to incorrect assumptions about red-shifts. Based on this new theory, we can now say conclusively that Madonna, for instance, is in her late sixties.
First, the theory is exactly correct. Time is a strictly local measurable quantity. All of the implications that follow are exactly as he says with one exception. The dinosaurs were NOT wiped out in a periodic cooling when Earth turned into a snowball. No, they were undone by the Siren call of Health Savings Accounts, which led to the rapid collapse of the dinosaur health insurance and healthcare industries. Also the dinosaur prescription drug plan proved both incomprehensible and capable of bankrupting both the government and the patients trying to use the benefit, leaving only the dinosaur pharmaceutical industry which roamed the Earth looking for dinosaurs to overcharge, until finally it transformed back into the crude sludge from which it came.
But the point is there was no "Big Bang" and the distant galaxies we see are much older than you had previously believed. This is due to the mis-calculation of ages, owing to incorrect assumptions about red-shifts. Based on this new theory, we can now say conclusively that Madonna, for instance, is in her late sixties.
