Andromeda

Admirably, the laudable President Bush graciously acknowledged defeat and agreed to a "compromise" on torture. Poor McCain. While he was foolishly wasting his time in a North Vietnamese prison, George Bush was sacrificing himself to the poolside lounge chairs and rich-people get-togethers where he learned valuable lessons about "fingers crossed" and "opposites." What good is McCain's paltry "honor" if he doesn't even know to say "No Backsies" when he shakes your hand?

Oh, President Bush, whom we laud as admirable, how gracious of you to write out your "rubber-glue" codicil to the torture bill! "I will follow this law consistent with my interpretation of the unitary executive branch which means I don't have to do anything I don't want to -- including triple stamp a double stamp, which I do herewith."