Andromeda

Dick Durbin's open weeping for ever having criticized America's Torture Program does indeed set a high bar, but at Andromeda we are prepared to throw ourselves across that bar as we attempt to outpatriot wily ol' Durbin.

First, we want to apologize for ever having mentioned the Downing Street memos. Well, actually we never mentioned them, but we sincerely regret we didn't not mention them more.

Second, we deeply and profoundly regret any hurt we may have caused Dick Cheney by pretending we found another Downing Street memo which said:

I met with President Bush today and found him to be a doe-eyed ingenue, gooily pliable in the skilled hands of a cabal with a secret agenda, easily fooled by mystifying double-talk such as, "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges," readily convinced by frat boy slash cheerleader rah-rah, such as "Slam dunk!" and easily distracted by ego-reinforcing protocol. Also, he kept correcting my use of the word "dissemble." --Tony Blair.

Third, we cry out in anguish and lash our tender parts in regret for having linked to the Bush cheerleader picture.

Recognizing that Durbin's second apology has finally put the terrible Gitmo chapter behind us, we at Andromeda hope to end the Iraq War by apologizing hard enough for ever showing the temerity to criticize it.