Andromeda

Today, the U.S. warned Iran to halt its nuclear program "or the next steps are in the offing .... And I think everybody understands what 'next steps' mean."

Here, at Andromeda, we do not know what "next steps" means, and, to be honest, we had to look up "offing." Apparently, "offing" means "killing" or "murdering," as in "Cain offed Abel" or "Goliath is planning on offing David."

As to "next steps," we remain confused. Let's review the steps the U.S. has taken so far.

1. Rattle saber.
   
2. Cut off all trade.
3. More saber-rattling.
   
4. Attack a country which doesn't have weapons of mass destruction and leave alone a country which does have weapons of mass destruction.
   
5. Ask why Iran thinks it needs weapons of mass destruction.
   
6. Refuse to participate in discussions with Iran and leave that up to Europe, compelling Europe to negotiate without the involvement of the country Iran perceives as its greatest threat because it keeps calling them part of the Axis of Evil and has invaded the country to the east and the country to the west.
7. Rattle saber.
   
8. Send saber in for 24-month check and ask them to look into the rattling.
9. Rattle loose change while waiting for saber.
10. Suggest that everyone knows what "next steps" means and then hint it rhymes with "Hair Hstrikes."
    

We realize now that it is obvious what "next steps" means! Ask the U.N. if it wants to remain relevant! ("You've got to ask yourself a question: do I feel relevant? Well, do ya, punk?")