Andromeda

THE COURT: Bring forth the accused.

ANDY: Hey, what is this all about?

THE COURT: Silence! Are you Andy?

ANDY: Yes.

THE COURT: Silence! And are you responsible for a blog called Andromeda?

ANDY: Well, "responsible," what does that really --

THE COURT: Silence! Andy, you stand before the Web Blog Tribunal--

ANDY: The what now?

THE COURT: The Web Blog Tribunal.

ANDY: Shouldn't that just be Blog Tribunal? I mean, web log is --

THE COURT: Silence! You stand before the Blog Tri--

ANDY: Or it could the B-web B-log B-tribunal-ba.

THE COURT: Andy, you stand ... here ... accused of Calumny in a Blog, which is an offense of the third order under the Federation's Blogging Code and Associated Codicils, punishable by one Elimidate, with either Wonkette or Drudge, depending on your sexual preference. How do you plead?

ANDY: Would an Elimidate with Wonkette mean I'm automatically registered as a sexual offender?

THE COURT: Yes.

ANDY: Then I plead not guilty.

THE COURT: Under the Blogging Code, you have to give a percentage.

ANDY: Oh, then 100% not guilty. Can I go higher --

THE COURT: Silence! Having refused to accept your guilt and showing no remorse, not even in the percentage of your plea, this Court finds you guilty--

ANDY: Don't I get a lawyer?

THE COURT: You have the right to say IANAL before everything you say.

ANDY: Can I present evidence?

THE COURT: Under the Blogging Code?

ANDY: Oh, yeh, sorry.

THE COURT: I find you guilty of calumny, attempt to calumny, conspiracy to calumny, obstruction of an investigation of calumny, and failure to report calumny, as to one Francis C. --

ANDY: H.

THE COURT: I thought you said you were 100% not guilty?

ANDY: Oh, yeah, I mean, Francis Who-Now?

THE COURT: ... Francis H. Black --

ANDY: Brown.

THE COURT: ... Francis H. Brown.

ANDY: Can I show mitigation?

THE COURT: Mitigation is not heard in calumny cases.

ANDY: Oh.

THE COURT: But whattaya got?

ANDY: Did you see those words in his articles? I mean, he had to be making those things up! "Kibish"? "Sapropels"? "Evolution"?

THE COURT: That's true. For that reason, I will reduce your sentence to a public flogging.

ANDY: F-public F-blogging-fa?

THE COURT: No. Take him away.