Wednesday, January 12, 2005
While We're Waiting ... Let's Watch TV!
I did not see the Fox show "24" when it first became popular, but I did happen to watch the first four hours (four hours! with so little life left?) on Sunday and Monday. It was very exciting with many twists and turns and twisty turns. Okay, here's the plot spoiler: it's misognynist and racist. No, wait, that's not the plot spoiler, this is: it's stupid.
Here's the scene. The Secretary of Defense has been kidnapped, along with his daughter. She is a hard-edged career woman, who completely breaks down under pressure. (Women!) The actress playing her has really found that "I am so scared my facial muscles are no longer under my control but are being operated by evil monster clowns" place that so few actors can find. The SecDef turns to his daughter and says, "No matter what they do to me, I want you to cooperate with them, even if they kill me, I want you to do whatever they say."
Now, here's what was supposed to happen: daughter turns to father and says, "No matter what they do to me, I don't want you to give them anything." But that would show a woman in a heroic role and, clearly, THAT'S not going to happen.
Or the father could have told her NOT to cooperate no matter what they do to him. Isn't she expected to protect national security as much as any man is? But telling her to divulge launch codes, secret entrances to the White House, the location of the alien craft that landed at Roswell, etc., "no matter what they do to him," makes no sense.
They did the old "my cellmate is really sick -- really -- you should come in here alone and look at him" and it worked like a charm cause terrorists are so stupid and have never watched Gilligan's Island, not since the fatwa against Bob Denver, anyway.
Here's a more realistic scenario:
Don Rumsfeld, squinting at his daughter: "Look, I can take pain, so let's forget about that. Here's what we're gonna do -- "
Rumsfeld's daughter, squinting at her father through her matching wireframes: "Pop, we just need a way for me to kill you, I could do it with my bare hands, but that's slow and they might stop me, -- "
Don Rumsfeld, with his Cheshire-cat grin: "No, sweetheart, we've got to be sure you die, too, -- "
Daughter: "Look, do you THINK I want to kill you? Heavens to Betsy, no! But am I gonna let them get at what's in your head? Mercy, I hope not! Now, do I think they could get information from me? Lordy, no! But am I gonna take that chance? You bet your boots I won't!"
Both found dead, intricate belt-tying wraps around their throats so the body weight of each chokes the other. Ashton Kutcher runs in with "Punk'd!" camera crew. Oops.
Here's the scene. The Secretary of Defense has been kidnapped, along with his daughter. She is a hard-edged career woman, who completely breaks down under pressure. (Women!) The actress playing her has really found that "I am so scared my facial muscles are no longer under my control but are being operated by evil monster clowns" place that so few actors can find. The SecDef turns to his daughter and says, "No matter what they do to me, I want you to cooperate with them, even if they kill me, I want you to do whatever they say."
Now, here's what was supposed to happen: daughter turns to father and says, "No matter what they do to me, I don't want you to give them anything." But that would show a woman in a heroic role and, clearly, THAT'S not going to happen.
Or the father could have told her NOT to cooperate no matter what they do to him. Isn't she expected to protect national security as much as any man is? But telling her to divulge launch codes, secret entrances to the White House, the location of the alien craft that landed at Roswell, etc., "no matter what they do to him," makes no sense.
They did the old "my cellmate is really sick -- really -- you should come in here alone and look at him" and it worked like a charm cause terrorists are so stupid and have never watched Gilligan's Island, not since the fatwa against Bob Denver, anyway.
Here's a more realistic scenario:
Don Rumsfeld, squinting at his daughter: "Look, I can take pain, so let's forget about that. Here's what we're gonna do -- "
Rumsfeld's daughter, squinting at her father through her matching wireframes: "Pop, we just need a way for me to kill you, I could do it with my bare hands, but that's slow and they might stop me, -- "
Don Rumsfeld, with his Cheshire-cat grin: "No, sweetheart, we've got to be sure you die, too, -- "
Daughter: "Look, do you THINK I want to kill you? Heavens to Betsy, no! But am I gonna let them get at what's in your head? Mercy, I hope not! Now, do I think they could get information from me? Lordy, no! But am I gonna take that chance? You bet your boots I won't!"
Both found dead, intricate belt-tying wraps around their throats so the body weight of each chokes the other. Ashton Kutcher runs in with "Punk'd!" camera crew. Oops.
